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•There are no rules in life.
•Don’t Live in possibilities.
•Be strong with all of your actions.
•Overcome Overcome Overcome.
•Listen to your feelings.
•Reason is a tool.

Notes: Purpose

The point of life is: To survive and replicate.

That alone is the universe. It is purpose. It is everything you need and desire. Whenever you feel vanity about it. It is because you have failed yourself or something is lacking in your life. You must acquire what is lacking.

~Intent~ + Will + Energy + Positivity + Action = Manifestation of Intent

This is the magic formula to getting what ever you want. First you must set an intention (e.g. Making a Million). You must want it. Then you must give it energy, momentum, enthusiasm. But positive energy. Then follow through the actions that are available to accomplish this.

Your are responsible for your life.

You can do what ever you want and You are entitled to it. So break out of the given you, and become who you wish to be.

Ego is the root of all evil.

You are made from the same decaying matter as everyone else. You are not special. So stop trying to make yourself feel like it. You have the abillity to shape the world, but if you die, the world will be unaffected. Live by positive and pure emotions.

Happiness is being alive.

Be open. Be intense. Be Positive. Be great. Be successfull. Become your best self.

Weakness

No matter how hard you try. You will always be weak.

That’s just how humans are.

Even the strongest of men will feel insecure.

Even the biggest players will feel alone.

Even the richest men will still feel empty.

So why not embrace our weaknesses and learn to love one another?

To all those i’ve hurt while searching for strength, Im sorry…

Il never forgive myself.

Forgetting Who You Are

How long since I saw through my own eyes. Now I see from above. My emotions are distant shadows. I canno’t feel. Everything is logic. Everything is a problem and my logic solves it. I analyse everything. Everything is a piece of the equation. I am nothing. I am simply what I need to be. This is the Problem.

There comes a time when you learn that you are not who you wish to be. So you change. That person fails you. So your learn what you must, and change again. You become a copy of a copy of a copy. Eventually there is nothing left.

Fear is gone. Anger is gone. Passion is gone. Love is gone. Happiness is gone.

You reach a point where not only has your ego died, but so has your personality, your emotions, your desires, your goals, your love.

You are a ghost made up of willpower and logic. This is worse than failure.

You cannot remember yourself. The only thing you can remember is seeing through your eyes, and not a birds eye view.

As a ghost you are tortured, your former self will appear only for moments. Then logic kicks in, and you canno’t feel yourself anymore.

Its funny, peaple always complain about how angry people make them. I wish I could feel that. I’m living in a bubble of opium. Without doing opium.

To make things worse, I offer no solution to this problem.

In order to learn the deepest of secrets you must sacrifice your ego, and your self. Things are never the same afterwards. Nothing will suprise you.

Awaken yourself. Hold on to yourself. If you loose yourself, consider yourself a failure. Secrets serve no purpose unless you can use them.

Existential Anxiety: The Issue.

Existance: State of being alive.

Anxiety: A state of mental uneasiness or concern about some uncertain event; An uneasy or distressing desire (for something); A state of restlessness.

Our Biological Purpose is to Survive and Reproduce.

Therefore if one has anxiety over anything, one is having problems with they’re value.

They do not feel as though they are meeting they’re survival or reproductive needs.

One can not mate with another if he feels as though he is not worthy of living for ever.

Our thoughts create our reality.

Therefore one must create and new thought pattern in order to solve this problem.

Energy goes where attention goes.

Put attention only to the positive. Highlight yourself. Put your attention on who you want to be.

The Solution

You are nothing. You are simply a human. You can change anything about yourself. All you must do is change your thoughts. Then yourself and your reality will change. You cannot have anxiety if what you want will manifest by your thoughts. Therefor do not worry about anything it will come if you want it. Just do what is necessary for it to happen.

Symptoms:

•Approach anxiety
•Nervousness arround others
•Depression
•Feelings that there is something wrong with you
•Quietness
•“Hidding” from girls you find attractive
•Lower Sex Drive
•Fear of other men

Focus on whats important.
Organise your short term life.
Keep your week very simple so you can focus.
And give room for flexibility.
Make sure your always doing something.
But make sure you always have room to do something else.

Just Be
“What you do is not nearly as important as who you are. When you focus on Being, what you do becomes natural and free flowing, and you don’t have to think about it as much. You spend less time analyzing your actions.”

Desires
Men: Emptiness + Leadership [Raising, Leading, Teaching]

Women: Fullness + Nurturing [Calming, Building, Healing]

Letter From My Mom.

Dear Dillan

Here we are Christmas eve 2008 and my things have changed so much for the two of us…

You seemed to have moved on with your life and I just keep hoping on day you get the courage to tell me what went wrong.
I really dont know what happened it all seems to be such a blur all I know is that you seem to be happy without me in the picture
and this hurts more than you will ever know.

I am glad you have a job and you are not living in the streets but this still doesnt help me sleep at night.
Every time the phone rings my heart stops for a moment because I wonder if this will be the call that something has happened to you and no matter how I will try I will not be able to change the outcome.

Maybe someday you will let me in to your world but I guess now is not the time….

Christmas has always been such a fun time for me ,I love that my mother makes the best Xmas dinner in the world and no one can match her cooking and that my crazy family gets together to me that is Christmas but without you around it just does not feel whole.
I have tried everthing over the last two years to make you happy but I guess I have failed you because you choose not to have us around you and that others are more important to you at this time…..I will have to live with that.

I really hope that someday you will let us in because we really do love you and you are an important part of who I am….Your Mom

I miss your smile and your laugh, hope you find your dreams

Big Love you Mom xoxox

An Honest Post: Part 2 (UnEdited)

This post has remain unEdited to keep the orriginal feeling and meaning.

Sometimes… you just loose yourself. You dont even realise it. You listen to music that isnt your style. you hang out with people that you dont like. and then you just wake up. going wtf. why am i so upset. and slowly you will understand.

I try to remain conciounce of myself, that is my problem. DONT THINK. DONT FEEL.

JUST BE. thoughts and feelings will come when they are nessisary.

I find myself forcing myself. to do things more than they come. Rarely does something just fit together nicely. thats because iv created something through frustration. DONT.

Just flow. Cameron is good at this.

Learning from him, I descided to journey. I spaced out. Sitting in the subway. Its like my eyes just opened. Things iv never realised. I saw the shape of the subway, its like sitting in a cage. And the windows the seemed so far away. even the people didnt seem to even exist. although the existed more, they were no longer threats, or curiosities, we all just seemed to be the same piece of paper.

I want to expirience this 24/7 along with the feeling of giving up. put together anything will be achievable and every action will be extatic.

People cannot tell when you are in this state. But they can feel it. They will follow you because they will sense something different. but you must be in this state.

These moments do not come to me often, but they could. this is my goal. to live my life in a state of nirvana, be who i want to be, and to live for ever.

Also if you ever get the chance, invest your money in stem cells, and cybernetic research. maybe one day we could back up our brain on a quantum hardrive or seomthing.

By the time I finish this pack of smokes, and new reality will have been created. and I will smoke no more. the reminder of my death will no longer be nessisary.

Having A smoke,
Black Magic, DJ Massiv vs the rebel

An Honest Post: Part 1 (UnEdited)

This post has remain unEdited to keep the orriginal feeling and meaning.

Frustration! this is the cause of any unlogical descision. and to be honest i was and still am a very frustrated person., The main cause of frustation is not being happy with something that is. So you attempt to change it. My fault is that I am changing things which arent the cause of my frustrations.

To be honest. Its very easy to loose yourself. When you start developing determination, you need to have an ego. you create an identity which is not your own. It is a “you” which your present situation and needs have created. and you hold on to it to create a ripple effect.

The ripple effect is like a drop of water. The bigger the drop. the bigger the ripple or waves created. So with your determination and your logic. you create the biggest ripple possible for the biggest rewards possible.

One must caution against putting too much effort into the ripple effect. For you cannot control the outcome. and it is very easy to burn out. and not be able to reap the rewards of the ripple.

From my expiriences I have learned that it is not nessisary to use your will and determination to create your reality. All you need is logic and the abillity to flow.

Once again I warn, with new knowledge of complex systems such as social engineering, do not loose yourself.

Recreating your persona is fine. but do not become something wich you are not. or even worse. loose touch with yourself.

Also, I cannot stress this enough. DO NOT BELIEVE IN ANYTHING. STAY 100% IN THE MOMENT.

Do not think. Logic and Analytical thoughts, are for study. Which is done at home. Not in field or durring any social occaision.

There are a couple of ways to stay out of your head.
1. Alcohol
2. Drugs and Psychadelics
3. Will Power
4. Solving the problems in your head
5. Giving Up, letting it go

Personaly I advise you go with number 5. It has the most dramatic affect supprisingly. Also contrary to what everyone says. I say expirience everything for yourself. if they say oh not going to school will fuck up your life. expirience it, and re-evaluate it.

My personal expirence on that one question is no it wont. But in order to do without it. You must have means of survival and if no one is supporting you and you have no means of supporting yourself. you will waste a shit load of time working some shit job.

Also if you really want to learn how to give up, or let everything go. I suggest you run down your street naked. Or light up in class or in the subway. Or an easyer way. Go walk up to the hottest girl you know and ask her out.

Get that feeling to be your dominant feeling durring the day. I guarentee your life will become more exciting.

Anyway a little about me and my expiriences.

•I moved out at 16.
•I lived with a girlfriend for a couple of months.
•I drank till I got alchahol poisoning.
•I drank till I ended up in cardiac arrest, Note I went Muay Training the next day.
•I havent drank heavily since.
•Iv gotten laid at age 16.
•Iv gotten 4 full time jobs at age 16 without a high school education
•Iv sneaked out of my house on many occaisions.
•Iv left a class half way through. Telling my teacher iv descided to skip because it was boring.
•Iv gotten two girls to make out with eachother, and gotten it filmed. (tommy send me the video i lost mine)
•Iv managed to get a girl in bed within 3 days.
•Iv been in many fights.
•Iv gotten a job while drunk.
•Iv lived in a basement appartment where there was no heating durring the winter.
•Iv tried online gambling (quickly gave that up)
•Iv made money online (working on getting more time for this)
•Iv failed with a girl in bed. Only once. Hopefully never again.
•Iv worked a full week full time on only 4 hours of sleep per night.
•Iv been with an older girl. 18+
•Iv been to the brickworks at night.
•Iv opened 20+ sets at malls.
•Iv opened 15+ sets durring the day.
•I droped out of school at age 16.
Iv probably done more, they just arent poping in my head at the moment.

also some of these things may seem negative, they aren’t. they are all learning expiriences. I wont trade any of these expiriences except for maybe the failed girl thing and the cardiac arrest.

but Iv learned life leasons.

and here they are in simple point for.

This is everything you need to know:

•You create your reality
•Everything is energy
•Karma is the results of energy put in motion
•Survival and reproduction is the only purpose in life
•the three curensies are time, money and health.
•these will allow you to survive and if your lucky afford you the luxery of love.
•the ultimate purpose is love.
•be yourself. know youreslf. love yourself. strive to be your best.
•live in the moment, forget time.
•you are the only one who can solve your problems do not rely on anyone else. they cannot help you. you must do everything.
•flow. do not hold on to anything.
•Be happy.
•dont panic. if you are, you know what you should be doing in order to not panic.
•take things slow. dont rush. although do not procrostinate or make excuses.
•Be 100% honest with yourself.
•Religion is bullshit a lie to keep you in line. Zen buddhism and psychology and the law of one should be the only real religions.
•change comes withing oneself.
•have 0 stress. dont care about anything it is only a dream, just enjoy it.
•everything and anything is possible.
•your perceptions thoughts and actions create your reality and influence everyone elses reality.
•51% percent of the population creates the reality for everyone. although everyone influences it.
•If you love something do it everyday.
Hoped you shat yourself reading that. But honestly I know everyone should know this. But once you expirience it. Its a differnt thing, dont just think something or know it. BE IT.

Also I thought I should share with you my current events.

I am going back to school.

I am moving, most likely to new market.

I am stopping fighting.

I am stopping programing.

I am going into social study and writting.

I am no longer going to work or live on my own. (hopefully)

The Road To Nirvana.
As I have embarked upon this road. My search for the right path has ended. There is nothing left for me to battle upon with words. In other words, I am done contemplating. It is time to become a true student. It is time to go to work.
posted on 09.04.09

Oh My Karma
If you understand my belief system. I believe that you create exactly what you experience in life. As well as I believe everything is created from within your head via the pineal gland. But one step above that. You will come to see truth within all religions. Muslim, Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Satanist, Atheist. I now consider myself a follower of all religions. I believe in god. Heaven. Hell. Rebirth. The egyptian gods. The devil. Myself and no gods at all. Somehow everything manages to fit together.
posted on 08.04.09

Enlightenment & The Answer To All Your Questions

The ideas contained within this article are difficult to explain in simple terms. For now this article only contains my personal solutions. A full explanation will be available in the future. Please google anything that does not make sense in the mean time. This article is subject to multiple edits in the future.

The Universe

… is made up of small particles. These particles make up everything. They are also so close together that you can’t make them apart. This means that everything is connected. Everything is made up of energy. The universe is expanding. It is consciousness. As consciousness becomes aware it creates.

The Magic

Control your own consciousness and you will control what manifests in your life. Control what the population is conscious of and you will control reality. Do so by drawing energy (ritual/prayer/drugs/symbols), moments of intense emotions (drugs/sacrifice/sigils), or the law of attraction. The law of attraction consists of you being conscious of what you want to happen and act as if it will happen. We all influence reality through our pineal gland.

The Emptiness

What is the meaning behind all this. To be frank there is none. You must accept that you may obtain moments of a higher state of consciousness but while you are in this life, you will constantly be dragged back down to the human drama. You can reach these moments of gnosis by not thinking and just being. Hit yourself in the face until you stop thinking, go talk to really pretty girls, or jump off a plane. The point is that you will become aligned with yourself. Now the purpose isn’t remain in this state permanently. It is impossible. Rather the purpose is to reach a ultimate understanding where you can reach a point of absolute freedom and understanding.

The Chaos

The end conclusion is that our selves are consciousness, which is everything, experiencing itself subjectively. The world is under a constant shift between nothingness and somethingness. A constant equilibrium is taking place. The world is dark, corrupt and meaningless. Everything you do will in turn effect you. If you hurt somebody else it will only end up hurting yourself. That is karma. If you want your life to be a life a happiness, bring that happiness to everyone and you will achieve it also. You may think that your actions are thus meaningless, but they are not, you choose exactly how you would like to live this life. It is a world of infinite possibilities.

Love

… knows no jealousy. no selfishness. no anger. Love is the complete acceptance and adoration of another. Love should bring each other higher and eliminate all chains and bring you to bliss.

Acceptence

In the end the only thing left to do is accept that the world is Ying and Yang. It will always be nothingness and somethingness. Chaos and order. The more things change, the more they really stay the same. So understand this and live the life that you desire for yourself.

posted on 04.04.09

Why Weren’t You Zusya?

Once, the great Hassidic leader, Zusya, came to his followers. His eyes were red with tears, and his face was pale with fear.

“Zusya, what’s the matter? You look frightened!”

“The other day, I had a vision. In it, I learned the question that the angels will one day ask me about my life.”

The followers were puzzled. “Zusya, you are pious. You are scholarly and humble. You have helped so many of us. What question about your life could be so terrifying that you would be frightened to answer it?”

Zusya turned his gaze to heaven. “I have learned that the angels will not ask me, ‘Why weren’t you a Moses, leading your people out of slavery?’”

His followers persisted. “So, what will they ask you?”

“And I have learned,” Zusya sighed, “that the angels will not ask me, ‘Why weren’t you a Joshua, leading your people into the promised land?’”

One of his followers approached Zusya and placed his hands on Zusya’s shoulders. Looking him in the eyes, the follower demanded, “But what will they ask you?”

“They will say to me, ‘Zusya, there was only one thing that no power of heaven or earth could have prevented you from becoming.’ They will say, ‘Zusya, why weren’t you Zusya?’”

posted on 04.04.09

The Cult of Done Manifesto

•There are three states of being. Not knowing, action and completion.
•Accept that everything is a draft. It helps to get it done.
•There is no editing stage.
•Pretending you know what you’re doing is almost the same as knowing what you are doing, so just accept that you know what you’re doing even if you don’t and do it.
•Banish procrastination. If you wait more than a week to get an idea done, abandon it.
•The point of being done is not to finish but to get other things done.
•Once you’re done you can throw it away.
•Laugh at perfection. It’s boring and keeps you from being done.
•People without dirty hands are wrong. Doing something makes you right.
•Failure counts as done. So do mistakes.
•Destruction is a variant of done.
•If you have an idea and publish it on the Internet, that counts as a ghost of done.
•Done is the engine of more.
posted on 04.04.09

Letter From My Mom #2

Hi Dillan

I know that you are really mad at me at this time , but I hope you will understand one day why I had to do it. It’s because I truly love you.

We had several discussion of you coming back and you told me over and over again that you did not want to follow rules when you lived here and the passed times showed me that you have no reason to follow rules .

You have made this very clear before with your actions,sneaking out at night, having people in and damaging our home.

I do know that you are a very strong man who will figure all of this stuff out one day and see that I really do love you and I did what I thought was best for you at the time. You have a very strong will and very strong opinions on how this should work but you may learn that sometime we all have to compromise to live in the world.

You know that our home is always open to you , I will always look at for your best interest but right now, you have to figure something’s out the hard way to see your way thought.

I know that you are a very smart guy and you will be very successful once you set your mind to it but right now you are on the wrong path and I hope you will see yourself thought it safely. This has been a very hard journey for us both and I have spent many night so worried about you,but you always end up washing up on shore a little bruised and tattered but also a little wiser. I hope one day you can manage the oceans safely and that you do wash up one day and see how much I truly love you and how much stuff I managed to live thought with you in yet I was always there to pick you up and dust you off and get you ready for your next journey.

I sure hope you worked something safe for yourself at this time and that you know I will always be there for you . I am always just a phone call away for you Dillan and I know you will find a safe path because deep down inside you are a great guy.

Be safe kiddo and know deep down how much I love you and how I worry………

Call me when you can just so I know you figured something out . OK

Miss you so very much

Mom xoxox

posted on 04.04.09

Marketing

Give Away Value and Ask Less Back

Sell to people expiriencing pain, urgency, who have no options, who are actively looking for a solution and are expiriencing intense emotions.

Have less features and moe benifits.

Marketing and Inovation will get you places a job cannot.

Take customers from established nich’s

Find what they need and give it to them. Dont upsell.

Money is made where value is created.

posted on 04.04.09

Peace is a lie
There is only passion
Through passion I gain strength
Through strength I gain power
Through power I gain victory
Through victory my chains are broken
My intuition shall set me free

Explination:
Peace is a wild pipedream. History repeats itself, there will never be total good or evil, focus on your personal desires. By being passionate you develop the strength to defend your passion. By your strength and determination you will develop power (the ability to influence events and people). Through use of power you shall obtain victory. By achieving victory you become happy and may indulge. My intuition shall give me the freedom to chose my own destiny, freedom.

Ethics:

1.Less is more. Focus.
2.You must live and love your life. To attract others onto it.
3.Act acording to your circumstances and the desired result.
4.Live 100%. You only live once.
5.Do not waste your time.
6.Suck it up. Do not complain. Develop thick skin.
7.Chose what is important to you. Be passionate.
8.Trust yourself. Be honest with yourself.
9.Always strive for more.
10.Understand the laws of our world. Play within the system. But play your game.
posted on 04.04.09

The Complete Man's Art of Living

Objectivism & Existentialism
Once you understand them you will no longer need to search for “answers”. You will begin to live your life.

Basics:
Definition of good: What ever furthers life. Individuality. Freedom. Profit.
Definition of bad: Death. Conservatism. Force. Loss.
Freewill: Yes. When we want to move our arm, it moves.
Purpose: Biological. + Self created purpose. (will to power, indulging, goal orriented etc…)
Happiness: A moment where everything is benificial with no drawbacks. Keep moving forwards and you will keep being happy.
Knowledge: Knowledge is infinite. Thus learn only what is usefull to you. When you learn something new, update your previus views if it is superior, or keep your old views if is inferior.

Advanced:
Just become your best. So that you can fullfill your purpose as fully as possible, to become as happy as possible.

To be complete you need:
Mind - Create a path to follow in your life.
Body - Understand your biological Purpose.
Spirit - Create and follow your own set of ethics.

To become your best you need:
A. Accept that you are less than you can be and that you want to be more.
B. Remove all ideas—positive or negative—about yourself.
C. If you have the will, then do everything which makes you stronger and stop everything that makes you weaker.

To achieve your goals you must:
-Adapt to your circumstances

To be happy you need:
-To acomplish your goals
-Keep dreaming up goals
-Enjoy the journey as well as arriving at the destination
-Live fully

To be strong you need:
-Be Determined
-Have thick skin
-Push through all pain

To live fully you need:
-Accept that you are going to die
-Feel time slipping away
-Give 100%

Difference:
Objectivism - Based upon reason. Do what brings you profit.
Existentialism - Based upon feeling. Do what feels good.

Hedonism is more than likely America’s real religion. Hedonism asks, “How might I find a sufficient amount of pleasure to counter my suffering? Alcohol, drugs, gluttony, sexual extremism, consumerism, and wealth accumulation, to name a few, all count as hedonic antidotes to suffering. But this is somewhat like a physician giving someone who is morbidly obese, a box of chocolates or a cake.

Only by attending to the antecedents of suffering such as to remove them or add what is lacking (e.g., adding certain vitamins to one’s diet), can we hope to quench it. Palliatives won’t work in the long run—nor will a box of chocolates and a cake (or their combination).

Palliation, which is the hedonist’s cure-all for what what ails you, only manages to cover up suffering. It doesn’t remove it. If fact, palliation may actually increase suffering.

“Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.” —Thomas Jefferson”
posted on 21.04.09

My Way

I’m bad luck, if you havn’t noticed that, you havn’t been paying attention.

Well atleast it would seem that way, but I don’t believe in luck. Really I just think I happen to have bad timing. I am very impatient, maybe its because I have a sense of impending death. (Could being clinicly dead have something to do with that?)

Also. I’ve realised, the way I am, I cannot rely on other people or enter they’re reality tunnel. I am different than most people, mainly because I believe things from inside, rather than what people tell me, or things I hear.

I don’t put girls on lockdown, I feel that love is free. My lover should be able to express her love freely. As should I. And how ever they feel that should be done is sacred, nobody else has a right to interfeer with that.

I also don’t believe in competition, because when your ego is eliminated and you are your true self, there is no competition, the people that are attrackted to you will simply fit into place, you will not have to Husstle for it to happen.

I don’t believe in secrets, if everyone told eachother how they felt about eachother we would all realise that every single thought / problem is interconnected and the only thing that can end that chain is for each individual to make the conscious descision to eliminate our own thoughts and just say things out loud.

Nobody really knows me including my friends and family. I find thats there is only one person who really got to know and understand me. Maybe thats why I love you so much. Maybe its because you accepted me so openly and fully. I miss you… I just wish I didn’t do what I did. If I had been a little more patient and selfless this would have never happened.

Thats another thing. you can stay in control of your own life and be selfless. Because when you really like someone, you wont be pretending or hiding things in order to get that persons affection. When you do something in this manner, it is authentic. When you do something selfless it will be out of true selflessness, not out of need/desire/lust.

Well to say it like it is. I think they’re might be a change of plans within my life. Maybe I wont attempt to be the something that people need, unless it happens naturaly. Im sure there will be a lot less conflict that way. The only people I will be willing to help or be close with are people who willingly jump into my reality. Really thats the only way it can work. You canno’t pretend to be someone your not when you like somone or want to be friends with them, because they will never get to know the real you.

From now on, I am leading. As for what you do, I could care less.

posted on 20.04.09

The Way

What’s more important? Bro’s or Ho’s? The problem is that you cannot please anybody. You have to make choices. One or the other.

How ever there is a way out for that. Controling your reality. Only be in events where you do not have to make that kind of choice. Don’t get involved in things or try to get close to people. Instead be yourself and let things happen. People will slide into place, things will be built, and you won’t have to risk making the choice.

If other people canno’t handle your reality, they will leave. That’s better than loosing someone who could have been someone very important in your life, over the fact that you valued her equaliy with a friend.

Things will find a way of working out, if you just flow, just be.

posted on 20.04.09

The Survival of the Fittest, Survival & Reproduction Value

Living, life itself, is suffering. It’s struggle, a constant fight.

Everything in our life we are doing in order to gain some sort of value.

That value is used to buy more life.

Sickness is caused by having attitudes, values, behaviors, or mental processes which evolution deems not worthy of passing on. Thus evolution will warn you, if nothing changes you will be eliminated.

Ever notice how when you work out you think of attracting women. Or when you buy a car? Or when you buy your clothing, etc.

Ever notice that the reason you don’t so something, it’s either to extend your life, or to avoid loosing value infront of other women?

That’s S/R Value. That should become your religion.

In life you have three currencies.

Time, Money, Health.

They all affect S/R Value.

Make the best out of it as you can.

Just so you know. There are no negative draw backs from not sleeping. Its a government cover up. Ever notice how when you dont sleep you get bitchy. You wont take shit from nobody. You become who you are. But if you get your sleep. Youl dream confrontation away.

This is the upwards spiral in life.

But at the same time. Don’t get lost. Hold on to your enlightenment.

Balance is key:

Value without Ego.

Value without Corruption

Not all value is material.

Build up your karmic value.

See things for how they are.

But don’t forget to live, to fight.

Feel the fire!

Feel the wind!

Feel at peace!

Feel free!

posted on 16.04.09

Lifestyle; Living On 24 Hours a Day

Rules

[Sleep < 2 Hours / Day]

[Computer < 4 Hours / Day]

[Exercise > 2 Hours / Day]

[Sarge > 3 sets a day]

[Food = Low Carbs, No Heavy Meat, High Protein, High Water Intake, + Fruit + Veggies]

[Projects = 4 hours per week]

[Job = Survivals Requirements]

posted on 15.04.09

“What was it that I was so interested in as a youth, before I was told I had to earn a living?”
posted on 15.04.09

Field Report: Dillan & Sheldon Sarge Scarborough.

3 Approaches total

Firsts Approach:

After for walking for about 20 minutes. We stop at a Shoppers drug mart.

We go to the beauty department. I open the girl who works there.

Shes about an 8-9. Mixed. Has the look of a model.

D- Can I ask you a quick question?

H- Sure.

D- What do you think about guys who shave their legs?

H- XD What?

D- Well I got this friend whos in the swim team who wants to know if he should.

H- Umm sure!.

D- But its kinda gay, where in high school you know.

Blah Blah

D- btw this is my friend whos in the swim team - sheldon.

D- introduced etc.

Never number closed but good for first approach.

The second group of 2 asians. They didn’t speak english. Concluded with No english? and left.

Third Approach:

S- Yo dillan, theres a hot ass asian arround the corner, I can’t appraoach.

D- I got this.

I walked arround the corner in wall mart. To find a really cute asian. She was looking the other way. So when I said hi.

I almost shit a brick, when I realised she had the cutest face ever. a bit stunned i sarged on. She was about 20-23 yaers old.

D- Quick question.

H- sure.

D- ever see the movie twilight?

H- No.

D- Just asking cuz I wanted to know if you thought it was a chick flick, me and my friend were arguing, I kinda enjoyed it.
Either way, what movies do you watch?

H- *blushing *, Action and Commedy

D- You dont look like the type~

H- * blushing more and turning full faced but took a step back. *

D- getting nervous and thinking the step back as a bad sign, I say well nice meeting you, just curious. I got to get back to my friends now. TTYL.

posted on 15.04.09

Identity Crisis: Solved

Your true self is that which you make excuses not to be. - Myself
Some people have trouble identifying themselves. Have trouble buying clothing? Does it take you forever to choose a character in video games? Can’t decide which car to buy? These are symptoms of a bigger problem. Now if suddenly your so unsure of you are you have no clue on how to respond to people or your so insecure you make excuses to avoid going to the movies/mall with some attractive members of the opposite sex, you might just be having an identity crisis. I know I was.

Most people develop in a linear fashion. These people can be compared to an NPC in a video game. They are programed by our society, parents, experiences etc. Based upon the results their personality is formed. These people will have a strong reality that may or may not be satisfied with. How ever it is rare that they find a way out of it.

Others develop in a non linear fashion. These people are comparable to a player in a video game. They are born introverted and have a strong observational logic. This means that they can learn by observing they’re environment and making choices in which they decide is most beneficial to them. They’re sense of self is usually second to non. Primarily consisting of ego which is installed by societal programing. How ever is this ego is destroyed it is most likely that they will come to a greater understanding of life and suddenly enter a fit of depression. The depression is a symptom of an identity crisis.

This greater understanding of life is this:

•You can be who ever you want to be.
•Your perception creates your reality.
•Your perception of yourself is who you will become.
•Your ego is the only thing that can hold you back.
•Your ego is the source of fear.
Individual who use logic to decide which choice will be the most beneficial will essentially break down at this point. There is no right or wrong answer, no answer that has more value than another. Therefor the individual must change his method of making decisions. You must explore your subconscious. This is done through dreams, drugs, extreme emotions and such. These methods however take far too long, thus I have created my own method of doing so. However I do suggest you explore you subconscious thoroughly.

My method is this: Stop. Turn off every internal thought and process and just start being. Just do what ever you want to do. and Be yourself while you are doing this.

Stop. Just be. Turn off every though and process and just go about your day. If you quit your job, thats fine. If you leave your wife, thats fine. If you start doing drugs, thats fine. If you decide to become a porn star, thats fine. Anything you do as long as it harm no individual is fine.

If you can’t do this you are suffering from one of the following:

•Anxiety (You make excuses not to do things)
•Anger Issues (You desire to hurt people)
•Insufficient Resources (You don’t do things because you don’t have money)
•Previous Actions (You are in jail)
•Dogmatic Conflict (You believe in things which contradict your natural instincts)
In the case of Anxiety you will make excuses not to do things you desire. For example you desire to have sex. Although you make an excuse not to go to the movies/mall with an attractive women you know. This leads to masturbation. This may seem like a catch 22 since you can’t do what your true self wants. Anxiety can only be overcome by willpower. Every thing you do which can be used as an excuse is a blanket to hide behind. If you have trouble doing these things, burn the blankets. You will be forced to adapt or die.

In the case of anger issues you desire to hurt people. Examine the reasons why you are angry. Maybe your girlfriend had sex with your best friend, maybe your mom is a slut, maybe your dad beat you. It doesn’t matter what they did, what matters is what you didn’t do that made you angry. In the case of the girlfriend, fuck her mother. The mother, call her out. The father, stand up for yourself. Learn to respect yourself and grasp your masculinity.

In the case of insufficient resources you fear failure based upon a programed perception of reality. You may think all porn stars have huge dicks, rent an asian porno. You may think you need money to travel, life nomadic. You may think you need an education to succeed, look at 50 cent. Basically turn of the part of your brain that represents society and take a risk. Be strong and never give up. Eventually you will make it.

In the case of previous actions you have given up upon yourself. You think you are screwed for life. Miracles happen. Cancer patients recover. Criminals become heroes (napoleon was exiled twice). The point is anything is possible. Stop grieving and realize you are still alive. As long as you are alive there is a possibility your life can change regardless of what people say. So unless you want to waste away your life, take the risk what do you have to loose now anyway?

In the case of dogmatic conflict your beliefs are formed by an external source that have manipulated your values against your biological instincts. You must either accept your place as a practitioner of your religion or re-evaluate your decision. I suggest you read up on quantum physics. Maybe god isn’t who you thought it was

Now. There is no excuse for you not to be able to turn of your mind. Once you begin to do this you will find it very difficult. But just being aware of this will shape you into yourself. Everything that isn’t you shall shed. Your best self is aligning yourself to your true self. Which as explained is turning of your mind and just being.

Death only looses its horror when you have consummated your life.You may have accomplished a great deal, a wife, children, education, money. But have you lived, have you been lived by it? Or do you stand outside your life? Grieving for a life you wished you had?

Now I will give you a gift. What if some demon were to say to you:

“The life your living now and the way you have lived it, you will have to live it not only once more but infinite times more; and there will be nothing different from it, every pain and every joy and every though and sight and everything else will be the same, and happen the same way it happened in this life. Even this moment will be the same. Now would you be mad at this demon and hate him thus? Or would this be the happiest moment in your life and answer to him “You are a god and never have I heard anything more godly.” - Nietzshe

Be yourself.

posted on 14.04.09

“When there is no I, there is no karma…”

You are to blame for everything you wish to be but are not. You are much like a power failure; on occasion something will happen that will cause a power failure within you. However, like a blackout, it is your own fault for allowing the power failure within you to overtake you much like it is the power failure’s fault for not delivering electricity to our homes when something goes wrong.

When an electrical pole collapses disrupting the electric current, we do not direct our attention towards the pole. Instead it is directed towards the actual electricity. However, while the attention is on the electricity, we blame the pole for everything negative that has happened. When something goes wrong, we do not like to blame the actual source, but external factors to convince ourselves that there is nothing wrong with the source. Even when it is an actual electrical failure, the pole will still take the blame.

This is much like a person. When a certain person does not have things going their way, they pay attention to the problem and how it is affecting them, and always come to the conclusion that something else is to blame. For instance, if you feel you are not living life up to your full potential, too much time and energy is spent paying attention to the problem (not living life to full potential.) However, this person feels the problem has not occurred based on their own influence, but an external source’s. This person has spent so much energy focusing their attention on the problem, and they feel so horrible acknowledging that they have a problem they do not want to believe that the problem is influenced by the way they see and act on it. Instead, they see other factors as the cause of their power outage; the car breaking down, the girl breaking up with him.

In my mind this man is classified as an introverted person, and not for a traditional sense regarding the word introvert. He fails to live in his own reality of what life should be. Therefore he does not understand how powerful his own perception on things can be. He feels obliged to his power failure, that is, when something goes wrong he does not know how to manage and accept it. He does not know how to assess and fix, or even deal with the situation. All he can do is pass the blame off to something else and hope that that something will realize its wrongdoing and fix the situation. When in this state, this man is not friendly, he is not fun. He is not outgoing or energetic, unless energetic in a negative way.

My feelings towards being extroverted is that you should be fun, outgoing, and positively energetic in all situations, regardless of problems, feelings, or emotions. This man doesn’t see the tree or the forest. He sees the termite, and blames the termite for why the trees and the forest are no longer there for him to see.

Instead you need to look to the inside. You have no doubt heard this repeatedly, but you must ALLOW it to guide you to your eternal euphoria. If you cannot make yourself happy then you have failed your conscience, your purpose of existence.

This man’s car broke down on the highway. He blamed the car for not living up to expectations. His girlfriend broke up with him. He blamed the girl for having a horrible and self centred personality. But what if I told you that the man disregarded the auto dealer’s advice to take the car to an auto repair shop after travelling twenty thousand miles. And what if I told you that all the man did was yell at his girlfriend to give himself a feeling of dominance in life. Your reality is able to find the flaws in the man’s actions because your morals tell you to respect and listen. This man’s reality was weak, and therefore penetrated, exposing him to a condemned life of weakness. However, just because your reality can point out his flaws, this does not mean that your reality is in any was ideal. Looking deeper, you are doing exactly what he is, blaming external sources. Instead view it as an internal thought; he made those choices because he is weak and you are stronger, not because what he did was selfish and wrong. As well, having a strong, conditioned, limitless reality is where you influence everything that happens. Your morals of respect and listening are more there because your reality has been conditioned to believe that based on another person’s reality. As something will always be influenced by another reality, your reality will never be completely yours, and you will never be perfect. However, you can condition it to be so close to complete, it doesn’t really matter.

I see complete reality control as a cross between introvert and extrovert, which I will call ixtrovert. (Icks-tro-vert.) The two factors creating the ixtrovertion bond is an introvert positive mental awareness and an extrovert total overall positive energy. These two factors have their energies moving in opposite directions of each other. The energy from the introvert factor is all gathered from many sources and input into one location. All of the positive energy in your body is focused towards one point in your body, your conscience. If there is any negative energy do not allow it to focus with the positive energy or it will negatively impact your ID, overpowering your ego’s ability to comprehend its disregard for rules. In contrast, all of the energy from the extrovert factor is taken from one point (your body) and released outwards. To imagine this picture the sun; all of the sun’s rays are released in all directions outwards. If you have ever been in the presence of a person that felt mystical and gave you a sense of hidden energy, you now know why.

For the introvert half of ixtrovertion, the positive mental awareness regards keeping internal thoughts about everything that positively and negatively affects you. Whether you marry the hottest girl alive or have a girl slap you for saying something sexual, you have to keep the internal thoughts and awareness that you influence everything that happens to you. Whether positive or negative, minor or major, everything that happens to you is a result of you and not something else. If something else does cause a problem, you still acknowledge it as your own. If not, you are exploiting your reality to be taken over and grasped by a stronger one. As well, no matter what you are feeling, whether satisfaction or despise, you keep it to yourself and do not let it affect your extroverted half.

As for your extrovert half, having an overall total positive energy relates to expressing your view on how your life has turned out so far. Those who have a great control over their reality will naturally have an increased total energy because they are more satisfied with their lives. This is only secondary however. Primarily, having an overall total positive energy means that you are able to give others a feeling of euphoria, which is influenced by the secondary factor. Every day, no matter what situation you are in, your total energy engulfs other people. Your total energy alone is enough to take over their reality and have them feeling instant satisfaction. This applies to when something negative has impacted you as well, because your introvert mental awareness instinctively interacts with these negative impulses and turns them into non threatening situations. Until you reach both these states of mental awareness and total energy, you will not reach the state of ixtrovertia.

“Reality Tunnels are created everytime two people communicate.”
— Myself
posted on 05.05.09

Reasons For Cheating
An individual may become unsatisfied with themselves and direct their frustration towards their parner sisnce they cannot accept it themselves. Or They are constantly trying to follow the image of society and thefore their views change and the girl no longer has the qualities he once saw in her.
posted on 01.05.09

A Lesson in Karma - Robert Anton Wilson

Lao-Tse says (at least in Leary’s translation) that the Great Tao is most often found with parents who are willing to learn from their children. This remark was to cause me considerable mental strain and dilation around this time in our narrative, because my children had become very self-directed adolescents and were getting into occultism with much more enthusiasm and much less skepticism than I thought judicious.

For a few years, we could not discuss these subjects without arguing, despite my attempts to remember good old Lao-Tse and really listen to the kids. They believed in astrology, which I was still convinced was bosh; in reincarnation, which I considered an extravagant metaphor one shouldn’t take literally; and in that form of the doctrine of Karma which holds, optimistically, that the evil really are punished and the good really are rewarded, which I considered a wishful fantasy no more likely than the Christian idea of Heaven and Hell. Worst of all, they had a huge appetite for various Oriental “Masters” whom I regarded as total charlatans, and an enormous disdain for all the scientific methodology of the West.

My own position was identical to that of Aleister Crowley when he wrote:

We place no reliance
On Virgin or Pigeon;
Our method is Science,
Our aim is Religion.

After every argument with one of the kids, I would vow again to listen more sympathetically, less judgmentally, to their Pop Orientalism. I finally began to succeed. I learned a great deal from them.
A “miracle” then happened. I know this will be harder for the average American parent to believe than any of my other weird yarns, but my horde of self-willed and self-directed adolescents began to listen to me. Real communication was established. Even though I was in my 40s and greying in the beard, I was able to talk intelligently with four adolescents about our philosophical disagreements, and our mutual respect for each other grew by leaps and bounds.

This, I think, is the greatest result I have obtained from all my occult explorations, even if the unmarried will not appreciate how miraculous it was.

Luna, our youngest-the one who might have levitated in Mexico and who had her first menstrual period synchronistically on the day Tim Leary was busted in Afghanistantaught me the hardest lesson of all. She had begun to paint m watercolors and everything she did charmed me: it was always full of sun and light, in a way that was as overpowering as Van Gogh.

“What do all these paintings mean?” I asked her one day.

“I’m trying to show the Clear Light,” she said.

Then, returning from school one afternoon, Luna was beaten and robbed by a gang of black kids. She was weeping and badly frightened when she arrived home, and her Father was shaken by the unfairness of it happening to her, such a gentle, ethereal child. In the midst of consoling her, the Father wandered emotionally and began denouncing the idea of Karma. Luna was beaten, he said, not for her sins, but for the sins of several centuries of slavers and racists, most of whom had never themselves suffered for those sins. “Karma is a blind machine,” he said. “The effects of evil go on and on but they don’t necessarily come back on those who start the evil.” Then Father got back on the track and said some more relevant and consoling things.

The next day Luna was her usual sunny and cheerful self, just like the Light in her paintings. “I’m glad you’re feeling better,” the Father said finally.

“I stopped the wheel of Karma,” she said. “All the bad energy is with the kids who beat me up. I’m not holding any of it.”

And she wasn’t. The bad energy had entirely passed by, and there was no anger or fear in her. I never saw her show any hostility to blacks after the beating, any more than before.

The Father fell in love with her all over again. And he understood what the metaphor of the wheel of Karma really symbolizes and what it means to stop the wheel.

Karma, in the original Buddhist scriptures, is a blind machine; in fact, it is functionally identical with the scientific concept of natural law. Sentimental ethical ideas about justice being built into the machine, so that those who do evil in one life are punished for it in another life, were added later by theologians reasoning from their own moralistic prejudices. Buddha simply indicated that all the cruelties and injustices of the past are still active: their effects are always being felt. Similarly, he explained, all the good of the past, all the kindness and patience and love of decent people is also still being felt.
Since most humans are still controlled by fairly robotic reflexes, the bad energy of the past far outweighs the good, and the tendency of the wheel is to keep moving in the same terrible direction, violence breeding more violence, hatred breeding more hatred, war breeding more war. The only way to “stop the wheel” is to stop it inside yourself, by giving up bad energy and concentrating on the positive. This is by no means easy, but once you understand what Gurdjieff called “the horror of our situation,” you have no choice but to try, and to keep on trying.

And Luna, at 13, understood this far better than I did, at 43, with all my erudition and philosophy…. I still regarded her absolute vegetarianism and pacifism as sentimentality.

“Until you have been enlightened your only goal is to stay in line and to enjoy it.”
posted on 11.05.09

“
We say we want a better world and just leave it at that, we think that fighting the nwo is worth anything, its not.

Unknowingly, the truth movement is its own worst enemy, we don’t need to free the masses, we need to “show” the masses that we are free.

Peace starts within and no where else.

”